A hill I will die on, Emma Roberts' Nancy Drew is better than you think

Let me take you back to the summer of 2011. To say it was hot in the state of Texas would have been an understatement. Temperature aside, I had to find a way to make money to feed my mild gaming addiction. And, of all the jobs available, I decided to become a cart pusher for Target.

So my days went as follows. Wake up at noon. Go into Target and push carts inside until the sun goes down. Then, when I was thoroughly exhausted, I came home and watched the 2007 Nancy Drew movie featuring Emma Roberts until I fell asleep. I did this for two months straight.

Why this movie? That's a good question. And I love that we can live in a land where you can ask such good questions. What's really important is that, over the course of that summer, Nancy Drew became my most-watched movie of all time. Yes, even more than Clockstoppers. And, you know what I discovered in those two months?

1.) Flunk's version of Blue Monday is a high-key banger. Still on my playlist to this day.

2.) Corrine Bailey Rae will make me cry every time.

And finally,

3.) This movie is a lot better than we give it credit for.

So, let's take out our gold magnifying glasses and look at the facts. Most Nancy Drew media have her solving mysteries in and around her hometown, River Heights. Normally, the books feature a younger version of the sleuth tackling cases that put her in a moderate amount of danger. Excluding my favorite version of the character, the Nancy Drew from the graphic novels, which ages her up to her early 20s, or so, just so that it can ramp up the danger without making us feel bad for a child. So, with that said, her books tend to follow what I like to call the 3 rules for writing Children's Fiction.

So what are the rules of children's fiction? Well, number one is No Killing Kids. Sure, kids can start the story already dead. Or you can give kids a fate worse than death, a la Goosebumps, but no kids will be dying on screen. That leaves you in an interesting predicament. You have to make the danger feel real while knowing full well that she makes it to the end of the story every time. This is solved by making the mystery she has found herself in so captivating that you are down for the ride just to see how it resolves itself. What was that? A dead movie star. A hidden pregnancy. A missing fortune. First, you had my curiosity; now you have my attention.

The second rule is Easy Wins. Children are ok with a character that doesn't win all the time. They are not ok with a character that never wins. We see this at the beginning of the movie, where Nancy easily foils two robbers and then makes a daring escape by lowering herself off a church roof. This shows us that Nancy is daring, capable, and can handle herself under pressure. This makes it easier to watch her fail a bit in the middle of the movie, because we know that she is one good move away from another win. It's the same reason Cowboys fans exist.

The final rule is that Adults are Incompetent. No one over the age of 17 should be moving the plot along. The adults are there to make sure the story stays on track, but the forward momentum is all up to the children. The movie handles this by making Nancy have all of the agency. She picks the house with the mystery. She finds all the major clues largely by herself, with other side characters tagging along and doing largely nothing. Nancy is the force that moves this vehicle.

Layered on top of that is the fish out of water trope. Sure, Nancy is perfect where she comes from, but what if you drop her in the big city? How does she react when her surroundings are less than familiar? She doesn't have her trusty River Heights police department or best friends (Bess and George) to back her up. Sure, she gets Ned halfway into the movie, but it's Ned. He's more of a pretty face than a practical genius. So what is a famous teen sleuth to do, what she does best of course. Improvise.

This is where Emma Roberts shows her mastery of the girl-next-door. She has always played a small-town girl with big ambition very well, but her portrayal of Nancy Drew adds a certain charm to the character that makes her feel real. It's easy to both laugh and cringe at her optimism. She let setbacks just roll off her, well, back. And by the time we are at the climax, even though you know deep down that nothing is going to happen to her, we still worry for her safety. We want her to win in the end.

But Bronsen! I hear you cry as you read this. Critics said the movie was bad. I don’t care that it has a 50% on Rotten Tomatoes at the time of writing, and stars secondary characters from Disney Channel t.v. shows, Nancy Drew did something that children’s movies nowadays would never do. It was a completely serious plot about a murder that never felt like it was trying too hard. At no point in the movie did I feel like Nancy was in over her head.

The movie constantly reassured me, time and time again, that Nancy was a capable young lady who could take care of herself, and I was just a spectator along for the ride. It doesn’t even downplay the fact that CPS was called on the mother in the movie, resulting in her daughter being taken away. It deals with loss, love, and acceptance in a way that is very mature for a movie aimed at children. It also gets extra points for expert use of Corinne Bailey Rae.

And speaking of the music, the soundtrack of this film is astonishing. With hits like Kids in America by The Donnas, Dare by The Gorillaz, and When Did Your Heart Go Missing? by Roony, it's a mix of pop, rock, and alternative with just the right splash of indie to complement Nancy’s personality.

Look, this movie may not be a cult classic or one of the best movies of all time. And I’m sure this didn’t help Emma Roberts career that much, but her portrayal of a character that I grew to love so much will forever be in my top ten movies of all time